OWN’s “Iyanla Fix My Life,” is a microcosm of damaged families, society

L-R: Media personality Jeff Johnson, joins Iylanla Vanzant in providing support to men who have fathered multiple children with multiple women.

L-R: Media personality Jeff Johnson, joins Iyanla Vanzant in providing support to men who have fathered multiple children with multiple women.

The seven-episode fall season of the Oprah Winfrey Network’s (OWN) “Iyanla Fix My Life,” came to a climatic conclusion on Saturday, October 18, after delving into a range of issues triggered by one man: Jay Williams, who has proudly fathered 34 children with 17 women.

Music executive Jay Williams, whose father is an Ivy League-educated professor, fathered 34 children with 17 women but said he "used a condom or I would have had many more."

Music executive Jay Williams, whose father is an Ivy League-educated professor, fathered 34 children with 17 women but said he “used a condom or I would have had many more.”

Williams, a music executive, entered the season somewhat reluctant to examine his actions but as the season moved along, underlying issues such as Williams’ relationship with his parents, fractured relationships with his children and their mothers came sharply into focus Williams had various temper tantrums on the show, as Vanzant compelled him to confront his pattern of poor choices, the dreadful template he has set for his children, the lies he told to vulnerable women and the importance of him facing the impact of all those decisions.

Iyanla Vanzant meets with Jay Williams and his parents to get some background. Jay's Ivy League-educated father was upset with having to admit that he had physically abused his ex-fie, Jay's mother, and turned his back on jay during his teenaged years.

Iyanla Vanzant meets with Jay Williams and his parents to get some background. Jay’s Ivy League-educated father was upset with having to admit that he had physically abused his ex-wife, Jay’s mother, and turned his back on jay during his teenaged years.

While Williams’ judgment is undeniably non-existent, as evidenced by the highway of anger that has littered his life, “Iyanla Fix My Life,” also reinforced another strong message: Women have a responsibility to make better choices when they evaluate men for dating before they move to the phase of having children with broken men. Some of the women were angry with each other for “taking Jay” from them, as they became seeped into the incongruity of believing that Williams was capable of sustaining a quality relationship with any of them. “You made a penis penetrate your friendship,” Vanzant said in a memorable line, when one woman insisted that the other had “taken” Jay from her.

Iyanlza Vanzant tells one of the mothers of Jay's 34 children "you made a penis penetrate your friendship.," as it came out that two best friends had children with the very prolific procreator.

Iyanlza Vanzant tells one of the mothers of Jay’s 34 children “you made a penis penetrate your friendship.,” as it came out that two best friends had children with Jay Williams who proudly procreates prolificly.

Vanzant asked the hard questions: What did you think you would get from a man who had fathered so many children with so many women? Why didn’t you use protection? How can you be there for all your children in the way that they need? Sadly, she did not address the high incidence of AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) in the African-America society and the potential for such promiscuous conduct to expose these people to the STDs.  Vanzant convened episodes featuring families that have a long road ahead in confronting their demons, acknowledging the consequences of prior poor choices and making an effort to repair a myriad of relationships, damaged over the years by lies, disrespect and irresponsible conduct.

Iyanlza talked to women about what promises they seek from the men they procreate with.

Iyanla talked to women about what promises they seek from the men they procreate with.

One of the most compelling stories focused on 25-year old Ryan, who is pursuing a master’s degree and is engaged to a fiancé who is pregnant with his fifth child. Ryan has fathered four children with two mothers but admits that he “used women because I was afraid to sleep alone,” due to his numerous attempts to commit suicide. His mother sobbed uncontrollably as he spoke, and when she apologized to him for how badly she treated him as a child she said :”I used you as a container for my rage.”

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Overall, this season of “Iyanla Fix My Life,” provided a snapshot of individuals over the life cycle and emphasizes the message that people have a responsibility to take time to learn about potential partners in every way, including their families, make balanced judgments and do the work necessary to be the best they can be, before engaging in sexual activity that can lead to the creation of a life. Taking shortcuts lead to a society populated with wounded souls who perpetuate that hurt and transmit it overly or covertly, leading to a society of damaged individuals–OnPointPress.net.

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